…That blogging is HARD.

Okay, so. Hey! I am indeed alive. A lot has happened over the…. Oh jeez it’s been a whole year since I last posted. It’s been a bad habit of mine for ages, keeping up with something I’ve started, so I guess it doesn’t surprise me, but… It still is a little hard to believe. Either way, life has changed for me, and I’m still trying to figure out a nice rhythm to work by that allows me to cover all of my bases, including this one. I’m trying to think of a real direction for this page to go, and I think my next topic is going to be self improvement. I’ve come a long way in the last year and I’d like to share it!

Anyway, down to the point of this topic. Maintaining a blog is hard for me. Maintaining any social media is hard for me, and I think the reason lies within the fact that I have very few readers/followers. It’s sort’ve like that ‘If a tree falls in a forest and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound?’ Did the tree fall at all? There’s no proof. I feel like what I write is absolutely unnoticed and there’s really no point to writing. On the other side of the coin, there’s no way I’ll get a following if I post once a year. So motivation has to come from somewhere else. It’s the same principle used in any form of entertainment. Now that I have a more stable environment to work in, maybe.. Just maybe, I’ll be able to work on a useful/enjoyable site that people actually want to visit.

Hold onto your hats… We’re taking off, but it’s not going to be a smooth ride…

-Cipher

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….That people can be so mean…

Hey everyone, Cipher here. It’s been a while I know, but I’ve had some personal issues come up and all that. Today I wanted to talk about something that troubles me on a personal level.. Look, okay I’m a furry.. And no, I’m not into bestiality, I’m actually kinda terrified of fursuits, and I’m not all about sex. And it’s really sad that I have to come out with that disclaimer but it seems that’s all people have to say about the furry fandom. It seems that there are two types of people in the world. People in the fandom, and people who know nothing but common misconceptions about the fandom. A friend of mine today told me and our group that the main furry websites were being DDoS’d, which to those of you who don’t know, basically means that a bunch of crappy signals are being sent to the site and overloading it so it’s forced to shut down (by my understanding anyway). I feel that is a direct attack on the fandom and all of those who are a part of it.. It just makes me sad. I dunno.. I guess I just kinda wanted to vent my feelings on the subject. I mean, furries are just another group of people interested in a topic, like sports fans or scrapbookers.. And the kicker is, I’ve never met a mean furry. In fact, every furry I know is extremely cuddly.. Why attack a fandom full of nice and cuddly people when some people enjoy watching half naked men punch the shit out of each other? People don’t blink at violent sports and racist jokes are filling the internet.. But put a furry out there and watch them get completely steamrolled by hatred and insults. It just makes me sad…

Please.. If any of you guys out there have an explanation, an argument, a comment of any sort say something. I’d be happy to answer questions about the fandom. The more people know, the less we have to see websites with domain names like “godhatesfurries”. Anyway.. Sorry for such a short and honestly depressing post.. I just kinda felt the need to say something. Continue reading

….That parents who get divorced are still a team no matter what.

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Hello everyone, Cipher here. I’ve decided to take my “A few times per week” Plan and throw it away. I just like to write, and if that means posting once or even twice a day, then so be it. ANYWAY. Today I wanna talk about the role teamwork has in the lives of parents that are divorced.

When a couple, and especially couples who are polar opposites in personality have children, they are forced to work together to reach the same goal, which is raising that child. But.. Very few parents realize that even if they split up, that need for teamwork doesn’t just go away. Children need structure and consistency, and you don’t get that if you have parents who have very different ideals on what the child should grow up to be. As one example, and as the example I will be working off of, one parent could have a few very basic rules that build a structure of clear cause and effect discipline.. And the other could have a very large set of different rules laying around in a pile with no clear set effect for each cause. A child rocking back and forth between two very different world’s could easily get dizzy and fall over.

I strongly believe that such a strong difference in lifestyles between two parents can cause personality disorders in children whose parents divorce early in their lives. I’ve never done any research in it, but I’ve noticed signs of disorder in myself. My parents divorced when I was around four years old, and the two of them are about as opposite as opposites could be. My mom clung to, and still hangs on to the very small family she has left, while my dad rarely speaks to half of his, and the list of differences goes on for miles.

When I was growing up, I had two different sets of parents. There was my mom and her twin brother, and then my father and his new bride, who he married and had a child with shortly after the divorce. I should mention that my parents had a child before me, my big brother who was ten when they split up. Now.. I lived with my mom, and visited my dad twice per month. And at my mom’s house… Things were strange. Her brother had, and still has but it’s simmered down, some behavioral and psychological problems. Very small things caused him to fly off the handle and he was never ever wrong. He was what much of my life revolved around. I had to keep him happy to secure my own safety and happiness. But there was no clear way of knowing just how he would react to what you said or did. Couple that with a rather protective mother who was terrified of losing the two things in the world that she loved the most, and you have a lot of rules, that lead to a lot of varying consequences. I got away with a lot, especially when I was little. I didn’t like vegetables, and in an effort to get me to eat something, my mother caved and allowed me to eat just anything. At one point I put myself on a strict hot dog diet. But on the other end of the spectrum, we’re I to disagree with her brother or say no to him about anything from football game invitations to whether or not I was “happy”, I would be met with a rather harsh shutdown.

My father was much different. He and his wife established a structurally sound parenting technique that was as clear as this. You follow these wide ranged but easy to understand rules and breaking each one has a very distinct outcome. Usually grounding and removal of privelages like tv and sleepovers. There was a mutual trust between parent and child to do the right thing, and it led to much more freedom to play outside or visit friends. I watched my sister grow up under these rules, and I must say, she flourished. In fact, I ended up with a very strong inferiority complex because of it. For much of my childhood I was angry and resentful towards my little sister because of the cards she held in life. And even today I’m still jealous.

Bouncing between these two very different families, I developed two different “modes”. I had to. There was no way that I could be who I was at one home and be the same way at another. I had to be.. And I’m sure this would upset my mother to hear, but I had to be robotic, living with my mom and her brother. Smile, nod, always say yes, and pretend to listen while sinking deeper and deeper into your own little world. I want to add a disclaimer here. I love my mom. She is one of the best women I’ve ever met, and she is stronger than you could ever imagine. But her brother is a man who quite honestly did horrible things to my psyche. Things that to this day have molded me into a person with unusual behaviors and irrational fears.

At my father’s house, I was encouraged to show my love and equally, show my fears. My stepmother and I went from perfect strangers to best friends over the years. And for a while, the robotic personality I exhibited with my mom, was carried over to my father’s house.. And then it started causing problems. Because the personality wasn’t just a hard shell anymore, it was who I became. And it led to fights with my stepmother and my little sister. I was a snotty little bitch when I was little, and I acknowledge that. But I had to force myself to become a more open and relaxed person. Something that I couldn’t be at home. And as time went on with me basically stepping in and out of cold and hot water, I ended up with depression and these sudden, unexplainable mood swings. I have never gone to ask professionally, but I have an inkling I ended up with a fractured personality because of it.

I wished my parents had worked together when raising me and my brother, but they were too busy not liking what the other was doing. And I can’t go on believing that I’m the only one this has happened to. Parents. If you’re unable to settle your differences and divorce is what is healthy for you, then by all means, do it. But.. You still have a responsibility to your child to be on the same page about.. Well, if nothing else then HOW you want to discipline your child.

This post got rather personal, but you know, I’m satisfied with it. It serves a purpose. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read my nonsense, and I’ll see you in my next post.

….That the internet isn’t so scary anymore.

Hey guys, it’s Cipher, and I’d like to take a moment to talk about internet security. It used to be that sharing your name and face on the internet was taboo. That, the internet is full of nothing but forty year old men out to take advantage of innocent thirteen year old girls. But…. There has to be thirteen year old girls on the internet to begin with, so obviously not¬†everyone¬†is a forty year old man. And by that, you have to believe that at least half the people on the internet is effectively a thirteen year old girl. Okay, let’s clarify.

Not everyone online is evil, and not everyone wants to steal your soul. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve met a single creep online. Ever. Knowledge is the best protection out there, and so long as you an recognize what is a threat and what isn’t, you’re fine. Scammers love to believe that they’re all cunning and sly, but the key to remember with deals online is if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. I know it will sound bad for me to say, but a lot of the time, ads with poor English and bad grammar are probably not real. If it say anything about advance payment, it’s fake. And don’t believe someone when they say you can make $500 per day with your clothes on.

My best friends in the world are online, no Joke. The internet is what is connecting the world, and that is amazing. I trust my online friends with everything about me. I would do anything they asked me. And I feel absolutely no fear about it. It’s… A fine line to toe, but it’s not as bad as everyone thinks it is. Now, I’m not going to tell you not to listen to your parents because they’re old fashioned and that means they’re ill informed. Not at all. Back when the internet was new, you had no idea what people were doing or saying. The world of reading emotion through text wasn’t quite there yet and the world’s first internet browsers were innocent young souls who weren’t well informed.

I don’t know if any of that made any sense, but it made sense to me. It’s four in the morning though, so I am allowed to be nonsensical, dosh garnit! Anyway… Yay, first real post hype! Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you in my next post.

….That this is my first Blog.

Hello guys, Cipher here. This is my first real blog! A while ago I had a blog on some obscure website, but I never really did anything with it. But that’s beside the point, because this.. This is going to be my baby! Anyway. A little about me would be, I’m an aspiring writer, and I love video games. I roleplay, I draw, and I have a lot of time to think. I cannot stand idiots, but who can? And one of my biggest pet peeves is those fabric pills that show up out of nowhere on your clothes.

A lot of what I want this blog to be about is my ideas on a lot of the world’s issues, like religion, politics, racism, etc. I wanna bring up those topics that make people cringe in social situations and just pour my heart out over them. I’m tired of having all of these in depth conversations in my head, and just wishing I could copy and paste them into real life conversations to show people I really am smart. (Because sometimes, I really don’t show it.) So… Yeah! I hope to post at least once or twice per week, depending on my ability to write, and maybe if I get people asking me for special topics, I’ll post even more! Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you in my next post.